February’s guest newsletter comes from Katie Walker, the Founder of the Bergeseen Group, a practice dedicated to providing compassionate and tailored counselling and coaching.
Drawing on a rich and diverse clinical background, Katie has empowered clients of all ages to overcome challenges such as anxiety, addiction, depression, chronic pain, and trauma. Her expertise extends beyond counselling; as an accomplished coach, she has guided entrepreneurs, executives, athletes, and their families through transformative professional and personal journeys, helping them to thrive during pivotal moments of change.
Originally from the United States, Katie has travelled to over 35 countries with her children, lived in all four regions of the United States and Spain. Katie’s international perspective, informed by her travels and experiences of living in different cultures, gives her a unique understanding of the challenges faced by those living away from their home countries.
Now based in Austria, she leads the Bergeseen Group with a vision of fostering growth, resilience, and well-being in her clients. Her work reflects a deep passion for helping others find clarity, balance, and purpose, no matter where they are on their life’s journey.
The Power of Self-Compassion: A Vital Tool for Expat Mental Well-Being
Moving abroad is an exciting adventure, and it comes with emotional challenges. I chose to get on that rollercoaster nearly ten years ago when our family moved to Spain from the USA. We left our home, extended family, and the lazy Boise River behind, with high expectations for a new chapter of life in Europe. It was exhilarating, and I’m proud of us for taking such a risk. But in those early days, as we navigated the logistical maze of setting up our new life—cell phones, bank accounts, a car, internet service—our patience wore thin. Most days felt like we were trudging uphill, searching for a moment of ease, hoping to feel like life was working again or that we had made the right decision.
What was wrong with us? This was our choice. How could we reconcile our expectations with reality? Did we even know what we’d signed up for? If one more person back home asked whether our kids were fluent yet …
Several months in, my husband shared a note on his phone—an impromptu graph illustrating how he’d been feeling.
Back home, our moods were fairly stable, hovering around an average baseline (in green). But in Madrid, that baseline dipped slightly below what we were used to, with dramatic peaks and valleys (in yellow). Some days, the challenges of expat life—stress, isolation, and general discomfort—left us feeling totally depleted. But then there were moments of pure magic: watching our daughter sing in a choral concert in Bratislava alongside children from dozens of countries, strolling through Retiro Park at dusk, or hopping on a quick flight to London to see The Cursed Child. The lows were lower, but the highs? They were breathtaking.
Expats face significant challenges that take a toll on mental health: loss of familiar support systems, uncertainty and instability, culture shock and adaptation fatigue, language barriers, and a loss of identity and belonging, to name a few. Research by AXA Global Healthcare found that expats are twice as likely to experience anxiety and depression compared to non-expats. Meanwhile, the International Organization for Migration found that mental health services for expats remain underdeveloped, leaving many struggling to find support.
One of the most powerful tools expats can use to safeguard their mental well-being is self-compassion—the practice of treating yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend. Whether you’re navigating cultural differences, homesickness, or uncertainty, self-compassion can help reduce stress and build resilience.
Self-Kindness vs Self-Judgment
Expats often set high expectations for themselves—adjusting quickly, making friends easily. When things don’t go as planned, it’s easy to slip into self-judgment. Self-kindness means responding to struggles with warmth rather than criticism. Instead of thinking, “I should be doing better,” try “Adjusting takes time. It’s okay to find this hard.” Practicing self-kindness builds confidence and emotional resilience.
Common Humanity vs Isolation
Expats often feel alone in their struggles, assuming everyone else is thriving. In reality, expat challenges are incredibly common. Recognising this shared human experience reduces isolation and fosters connection. Talking vulnerably with others normalises the ups and downs of expat life. Remind yourself: “I’m not alone—many others have felt this way and adjusted over time.”
Mindfulness vs Over-Identification
Expats can become overwhelmed by negative emotions. Mindfulness allows you to observe emotions without being consumed by them. Instead of thinking, “I’ll never feel at home here,” mindfulness encourages a gentler approach: “I feel out of place right now, but this feeling is temporary.” Practical mindfulness strategies include deep breathing exercises to stay present in difficult moments and journaling to process emotions without judgment.
Simple Ways to Cultivate Self-Compassion
If you’re new to self-compassion, here are simple ways to incorporate it into your life:
- Write yourself a self-compassionate letter. Imagine a friend is in your situation—what would you say to them? Now, direct those words to yourself.
- Create a self-soothing ritual. Maybe it’s a cup of tea, a walk, or listening to music from home; these small acts of self-care matter.
- Seek support. If mental health services are limited in your country, look for an online counselling or expat support group.
Bergeseen Group
I am a US-licensed clinical mental health counsellor, providing support to expats living around the world through my online counselling and coaching practice. Nearly two years ago, our family decided to get back on the rollercoaster—this time we moved to Austria. We still experience ups and downs—that’s life! But we’ve learned tools to raise our baseline, build emotional agility, and increase resilience, allowing us to navigate challenges with greater ease and fulfillment.
What’s one small way you can show yourself kindness today?
Find out more about the Bergeseen Group on their website, or read our recent interview with Katie on navigating expat life.
This article was written for our February 2025 Newsletter. Sign up here to receive our monthly updates, stories and resources from relocation specialists, education experts, entrepreneurs and international families who have built a life abroad, straight to your inbox.
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