I don’t like saying I am a mum of five because I don’t want that to define me, though for a long time, it did. We had a 3 year old and a 7 months old when we moved to Spain, near Figueres, 16 years ago. The other three kids came along soon after and I pretty much dedicated about 15 years to being a housewife and mother. During that time we also fought for, bought and then renovated an old farmhouse with 26 hectares.
But about two years ago, at the age of 46, I caught myself looking forward to getting old. The kids will be independent, I thought, we have a nice house, we will be able to travel more, just my husband and I, I can spend more time with my horses. But there was a nagging voice at the back of mind, which actually got louder and louder, and caused me a lot of psychic anguish. That voice kept saying ‘you can do more’. During those tough, unrewarding years of being a mum, I had somehow lost myself. I’m not saying that people who work haven’t lost themselves as well. I think it’s something that happens to all of us as the years and life pass. Unless we’re really conscious of what’s going on moment by moment, we will all one day lose ourselves. We will forget our dreams and desires, the things that made us burn with passion and energy when we were younger. And we will settle for things to be ok. Because ok is safe and comfortable, and God knows life has been tough enough, so who wouldn’t want things to be like that?
But really living life means you have to dream bigger and FEEL more. And that really hurts. Because feeling more means feeling more of everything. It means feeling love and fear. It means feeling the anxiety as well as the peace. For me, it meant waking up from an emotional numbness which I had cultivated over the years to protect myself and be efficient. And hey, don’t get me wrong, I was happy – or what I thought happy felt like.
But when I started to wake up, and I realised that I could decide to start my life again if I wanted to, instead of winding down, a rush of excitement flooded my body, but my God it was so scary at the same time.
Just before all of this was happening, a friend had introduced me to Doterra essential oils. I now know that daily usage of oils as pure and powerful as these, can lead to massive emotional shifts, and perhaps it was to do with that. I remember also doing a detoxing cleanse which lasted for a month, and during the kidney cleanse stage, I was so emotional. I cried about the smallest things and felt so vulnerable, it was pathetic – and I am usually a cold, hard person!! I continued to use and love the oils, and they eventually showed me a way I could start to live a new life. Baby steps at first, which got bigger as my confidence increased. I now teach classes to help people, especially mothers, transition to a healthier and less toxic lifestyle using the oils. I also now have a small team of women to mentor to do the same thing. I have lots of new oil users to support and help on their journey. In short, a path has appeared. And the best thing about working with Doterra is I get to do it exactly my way. This is crucial for me at this stage when I am still waking up to who I am and to what my potential is. Because I get to change direction along the path if I feel I am not going the right way. And waking up emotionally has also meant I can really FEEL when I am going the right way and when I am not. This has been such a revelation to me. I always tell my team members that the best thing about this work is the unbelievable amount of self realisation that is required. I didn’t know jobs like this existed!
When I was younger, I always wanted to be a journalist, to shine a light on bad things that were happening. I did train and work as a journalist. But to be a successful journalist, you cannot challenge power and hold it to account. Especially not in the corporate media of today. But I have found a way to challenge power in my work with essential oils. This is what really ignites my passion, and reminds me of how I used to feel as a girl. The world was exciting and dangerous and there was a fight to be had and I was going to be a part of it! (Yes, I was a revolutionary in my youth!)
You may well ask how can can something flowery and new-agey like essential oils challenge power. Quite simply, because oils give us our power back. Looking after our family’s health is a duty and a privilege. Too often we give that privilege away to ‘experts’, without realising that we are actually the best experts. We are taught as first time mothers not to trust our instincts, and we do what the experts tell us. But if we remained even a little awake inside, we would have felt slightly uneasy about some of the advice. Today, if we are sick, we go to the doctor, and we pass this passivity on to our kids without realising it. I am certainly not saying don’t go to the doctor. But what I am saying is take what your doctor says as one opinion, and know that there are plenty of other opinions based on very solid scientific evidence. Know that every pharmaceutical drug you take has a physical cost, and make sure you are prepared to bear that cost – do your research. Don’t trust what you are told. Become empowered. Say no sometimes, and then say no more times. Doterra is changing the face of healthcare. And modern ‘healthcare’ needs some serious changing. Chronic lifestyle diseases will claim the lives of 90% of us. Our children will not live as long as us. The oils give people powerful tools to manage their own health, and when combined with education and good nutrition, people can rewrite their story, and their children’s story. The oils can create physical and emotional resilience to what life will surely bring.
My children have taken to the oils more than anything else ‘alternative’ I have brought into our home. They very quickly learn which oils to use and for what, and they all have their favourites. This year, two of my boys left home, one to start work, and the other to go away to school. They have both taken lots of oils with them. My son at school has been fighting a throat infection this week, but he has been using his oils, and he hasn’t had to go to the school nurse or miss any lessons. He proudly told me he had fought it off, when two boys in his corridor have been sick for a week. One of my daughtersuses oils for her emotions, and just chooses them based on intuition, which I love as well. We also use them on our horses and the dogs. I love teaching my children that responsibility for their health lies with them, and not with others. This is so important when all mainstream medicine can offer is drug based symptom management. They need to know how to be healthy and make decisions for themselves and their own families in the future based on empowerment rather than fear.
And the most beautiful thing of all about the oils is that they create community. Many of my oil users participate in our Facebook group and support each other and continue to educate themselves. Now people have something concrete to offer another mum who may be suffering because her child is ill, or because she is stressed and anxious. In our increasingly disconnected world, the oils offer a way to reach out and provide comfort to someone. I don’t know of anything that challenges power more than when people join together to be of service to each other.
So I challenge whoever is up for it and who may be reading this to answer the following questions. Are you too comfortable? When was the last time you really stepped outside your comfort zone? When was the last time you did something scary? Are you awake? Can you tell me some of the emotions you felt today? Or did your day just rush past in a familiar blur? Are you so exhausted at the end of the day that you have no time to ponder and think, so it’s easier to just have a glass of wine and keep doing the same thing? Do you remember what your dreams were when you were younger? Did you stop dreaming? And the big one – just whisper it to yourself – Are you capable of more?